I need ideas, how can I make this sentence sound more college? 10 pts!?

in your final sentence, replace the word "being" with "begin" and change the context of "slimming" to "slim" In your second sentence I noticed that you need to simplify the end of your statement, by replacing "while drive also by modeling safe driving behaviors." with "while driving,and by modeling safe driving practices." You also need to specify who the word "them" is referring to in order to eliminate any confusion fo the reader.